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Lorraine’s boob surprise - April 05
Robert Downey Jr had us all choking on our toast during his appearance on ITV’s This Morning. The actor, who is over here promoting his debut album certainly hasn’t given up all of his bad boy ways since giving up the drugs and managed to leave even the talkative Lorraine Kelly speechless with an early morning jape.

When cheery Lorraine, dressed in a cleavage revealing cardigan told her guest "you look really well," rather than a simple ’thanks’ Downey replied "I was going to say your tits look great too." As a nation dropped their spoons in surprise Lorraine gamely adjusted her top and commented "I didn’t realise they were so out." A nation’s women thank Lorraine for showing us just how to get an A-lister’s attention.

Lorraine’s no talent search - August 04
Lorraine Kelly is to front new anti-talent show.

The GMTV presenter has been lined up to present Can’t Sing Singers for the BBC. The show will follow 48 tone deaf people as they try to learn to sing. Beeb bosses are delighted that Kelly has agreed to do the show as they think she is just right to look after their intrepid no hopers

Kelly starts in style - May 04
Lorraine Kelly kicked off her new position as Dundee Uni’s Rector with a pub crawl.

Lorraine was ’dragged’ around local pubs and bars by students, even downing a shot of Absinthe before being officially made the University’s Rector. Kelly said that her election campaign had comprised of singing karaoke, downing vast quantities of green liqeur and singing autographs on "various parts of nubile young men’s bodies."

What a sad pair! - 16/05/03
Lorraine Kelly said she thinks Tatu’s lesbian act is ’sad and insulting’.

Lorraine is set to host a BBC3 show on the Eurovision Song Contest and Tatu are entering as the Russian’s answer to Euro pop. She says that the duo’s claim to be a lesbian couple is all a show and went on to say that they were ’ripping off some-ones lifestyle to sell records’.

Go Lorraine, you tell ’em hun...

Watch out Lorraine! - 10/02/03
Glasgow born Lorraine was fooled by Ant & Dec - who seem to be turning into the modern day equivalent of eighties ’prankster’ Jeremy Beadle.

The latest gag involved fooling Lorraine Kelly live on her morning TV show by dressing up as two old men and being filmed on a live link to a pretend old folks home - and claiming they were looking for ’lurve’. Poor Lorraine had two glamorous ladies that were in on the joke in her studio, that said they answered a personal ad and were willing to date these two ’old grandads’. Only when Ant & Dec appeared in the studio did Lorraine realise she had been fooled.

But Lorraine - how did you not tell it was Ant & Dec? Their acting experiance is limited to children’s programme Byker Grove after all!...

Lorraine Kelly admits to dabbling with drugs - 02/01/03
Glasgow born presenter Lorraine Kelly has confessed to trying the sex drug amyl nitrate.

But the star said she went "a bit loopy" so never used it again. Lorraine, who has been hailed as a gay icon, was photographed for the magazine Attitude, dressed as a New York cop and brandishing a truncheon and handcuffs.