| Homes and Property - E: kensington@myvillage.co.uk | |
| How to forget about DIY and live happily ever after - 31/06/01 | |
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Ken Macdonald explains why he'll have nothing to do with DIY - and why you shouldn't either. You probably think DIY stands for 'do it yourself'. Forget that - if you're smart, it stands for 'don't involve yourself'. Why do I say that? Well, it all goes back to a traumatic childhood experience. My mum had been on at my dad for months about a new set of bookshelves for the living room. Though a man of many talents, my father was no handyman so he'd been avoiding the job for months. Then my Uncle Ted came to visit for a week. "No problem," said Uncle Ted, "bosh, bosh, I'll have them up in two shakes a of a lamb's tail." Never one to hang around, he got to work with the drill right away, making the holes for the fastenings. He was making short work of it until - BANG! - he went straight through the mains electricity cable. This hurled him several feet into the air and started a small fire in the living room. After checking that Uncle Ted was still breathing which, miraculously, he was, I rushed into the kitchen and filled a bucket with water to douse the flames. You may already have spotted my error - water and electrical fires do not go together like fish and chips. Now the fire got well and truly going. Fortunately, Uncle Ted had come to and he and I were able to make a rapid exit along with the rest of the family. As we stood outside our family home, watching it burn to the ground along with my hamster Algernon, I knew that I would never, ever attempt any DIY as long as I lived. If you agree that DIY should stand for 'don't involve yourself', why not check out our guide to domestic services by clicking on the links on the top right of this page. The local tradesman listed there will be glad to do all your household jobs - without burning your house down.
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